1 A Different Kind of "Smart" 1 --
OldWine in New Bottles? 3 --
From Toxic to Nourishing 12 --
Blind Spots, Lenses, and Filters 14 --
Social Halitosis, Flatulence, and Dandruff 16 --
Can We Become a Socially Smarter Species? 25 --
S.P.A.C.E.: The Skills of Interaction 28 --
2 "S" Stands for Situational Awareness 33 --
Situational Dumbness and Numbness 34 --
Ballistic Podiatry: Making the Worst of a Situation 36 --
Reading the Social Context 38 --
Navigating Cultures and Subcultures 58 --
Codes of Conduct: Violate the Rules at Your Peril 61 --
Building the Skills of Situational Awareness 66 --
3 "P" Stands for Presence 69 --
Is Charisma Over-Rated? 72 --
Reading (and Shaping) the "Rules of Engagement" 75 --
Ugly American Syndrome 78 --
More ofYou, Less of Me 80 --
Building the Skills of Presence 85 --
4 "A" Stands for Authenticity 87 --
Take a Tip from Popeye 88 --
It's a Beautiful Day in the SI Neighborhood 90 --
Snap-On Smile: Can You Fake Sincerity? 93 --
Left-Handed Compliments 94 --
Narcissism: It's Really All About Me 98 --
Head Games, Power Struggles, and Manipulation 102 --
Building the Skills of Authenticity 105 --
5 "C" Stands for Clarity 107 --
Hoof-in-Mouth Disease: Sometimes Silence Works Best 110 --
Role-Speak and Real-Speak 114 --
Helicopter Language and Elevator Speeches 116 --
"Clean" Language and "Dirty" Language 119 --
Taking a Brain for a Walk 125 --
E-Prime: the Language of Sanity 130 --
Building the Skills of Clarity 135 --
6 "E" Stands for Empathy 137 --
What Destroys Empathy? 138 --
What Builds Empathy? 142 --
Irony of Empathic Professions 149 --
L.E.A.P.S.: Empathy by Design 152 --
Empathy in Four Minutes 154 --
Building the Skills of Empathy 156 --
7 Assessing and Developing SI 159 --
Assessing Your Interaction Skills 160 --
Self-Awareness: Seeing Yourself as Others See You 166 --
Assessing Your Interaction Style: Drivers, Energizers, Diplomats, and Loners 168 --
Strength-Weakness Irony 177 --
Priorities for Improvement 180 --
8 SI in the World of Work: Some Reflections 185 --
Real and Legal Consequences of Social Incompetence 184 --
Cultures of Conflict and Craziness 187 --
Hierarchies, Testosterone, and Gender Politics 193 --
Getting it Right at Work and Wrong at Home 198 --
Ritual, Ceremony, and Celebration 203 --
Positive Politics: Getting Ahead with Your Value System Intact 207 --
9 SI in Charge: Thoughts on Developing Socially Intelligent Leaders 211 --
Executive Hubris: Its Costs and Consequences 216 --
Best Boss, Worst Boss 219 --
P.O.W.E.R.: Where It Comes From, How to Get It 222 --
How the Worst Bastards on the Planet Get and Keep Power 224 --
Algebra of Influence 226 --
S.P.I.C.E.: Leading When You're Not In Charge 227 --
10 SI and Conflict: Thoughts About Getting Along 233 --
Double Spiral of Conflict 234 --
Crucial Conversations 243 --
Added Value Negotiating 246 --
Epilogue: SI and the Next Generation: Who's Teaching Our Kids? 253 --
Our Children Are Not Our Children 254 --
The (Only) Ten Basic News Stories 256 --
Anxiety Drives Attention 260 --
Breaking the Addiction to Television 262 --
Buying of Our Babies 265 --
Video Games: The New Sandlot 267 --
Teachers, Parents, or Neither? 270 --
Belonging or Be Longing? 272 --
S.P.A.C.E. Solution for Schools 276 --
A Prescription for SI at Every Age 278.